By Dr. Joan Owade Adongo,
SPECIAL REPORT
• “We all deserve that special person who will hold your good and dirty secrets without exposing you to the world,” Dr. Owade
In the scorchy sunny Sunday afternoon, my phone rings and guess who is calling?, Linda. We were to meet that afternoon for swimming. She was an expert in swimming unlike me who had phobia for water. The only memories I had were the froggy jumps by the village streams during my childhood. In the contrary, Linda was an international swimmer, who was introduced to the world of swimming by her late Dad at a tender age. She won several accolades in both National and International competitions during her school days, before the demise of her dad. Nevertheless, I would often escort Linda to do her thing. I was this loyal cheer leader who always supported her and our other friends whenever they would opt for swimming.
However, on this particular day, Linda did not invite her friends along. After she had enough of the water, we were both very hungry. We decided to order for our best delicacy: Ugali, “Ngege” (Tilapia Fish) and sukumawiki (vegetables). Meanwhile, my friend was extremely happy and I wondered what the good news would be!
“Joan, did you know swimming is therapeutic? I just love swimming. It runs in my veins and I’m so addicted to it. Swimming soothes, relaxes, rejuvenates and freshens one’s mind. In other words, swimming is a stress_releaver. I should be your coach one of these days”. Linda narrated, with her white shiny teeth popping out in laughter. I wondered what was birthing this unusual joy.Though I and Linda were best friends, we were two worlds apart in terms of hobbies; She loved swimming, I loved writing. I jokingly intercepted her offer of becoming my swimming tutor and she laughed it out. She then promised to sponsor my publications some day…
After we were done with lunch, Linda revealed to me that there is something interesting she wanted to share with me, saying that this was the very reason she didn’t bring her other friends along. At that moment, I realized how important it is to have that one person we can always confide in. Not all who smile with you are your friends and neither do we have an assurance that all our friends are good at keeping secrets. This is a path we must trade in carefully lest we’re disappointed and betrayed. We all deserve that special person who will hold your good and dirty secrets without exposing you to the world. That one person who will hold you and part you at the back when you’re draining or when you’re not okay, and of course celebrate you even in your little achievements. I’m glad I and Linda perfectly found a match in this road!
For a second, I looked straight into her eyes and watched her unstoppable smiles, and thought; what she was about to spill must have been the greatest news of the century. As I listened to her attentively, she continued, “Uhm Joan, do you remember last time we met, you mentioned that people are wicked, and that majority of us dies silently yet in the outside we may seem very okay”? Of course, we motivational speakers say a lot. It is difficult to keep a recollection of all we say, but well, I nodded to her in agreement. Linda then alerted me that this would form the basis for our discussion this afternoon. Alas! With all the happiness and smiles written allover her face, I kept wondering of the connection between my previous statements and her joy.My heart was already throbbing and beating harder, reflecting on how tensed our last date was, when Linda broke into tears amidst our conversations. Well, this time she was all composed and her constant smiling face gave me an assurance that all was well.
“So last night, I had a long conference call with my brothers. Jerry is now a Doctor and he’s insisting I join him and his family in the US. He is very rich and so is our younger brother Tom, who recently graduated with a doctorate degree. They both want me to leave the country and join them, but I’m tone between settling for US or Canada.” But this is not the gist of what I want to tell you, she smiled. During the conference call with my brothers, something rikindled awful memories in me. It’s Jerry’s fault. This guy reminded me of our dark past and how everyone thought that we wouldn’t make it in life. What was supposed to be a celebration night wounded my heart instead. I couldn’t control my tears when I recalled how we suffered in the hands of my wicked step-mother and auntie Peninnah. Peninnah was a real demon in humanly body. After the demise of our parents, I and my siblings were separated. The family meeting decided that I join my auntie Peninnah in the City while my two brothers were adopted by my uncle who hailed in a different location. Auntie Penninah enrolled me in a nearby day school, unlike her four children who were studying in best schools in the city. After school, my wicked auntie would turn me into her house help. I did all the house chores, and whenever her lastborn daughter, who apparently was my age mate would want to assist me, her mother would shout at her and send her to her bedroom to revise her books. I would sleep so late in the night, trying to revise as well after everyone else has slept. I would wake up so early the next morning to perform all the house chores before going to school. Despite my auntie lying to my auncle during the family meeting that she would take good care of me since she had two house help in her house in the city, this was not the case. Immediately we arrived in her house, she chased the two house helps and told them that their services were no longer needed. I got so scared and wondered what was going on. On the other hand, my two brothers as at that time were living with my uncle Steve. He was very supportive and enrolled them to the same school where his children were studying. Auncle Steve had two sons who were very friendly to my brothers. Jerry’s ensured he rikindled all these akward memories before finally breaking the good news to me, she smiled.
Well, that’s not the main reason why we are here. It was getting hot so we ordered for cold juice to keep us going. Linda then recollected herself and said there’s something she really wanted me to learn out of the very statements I made during our last outing. Still I wondered what exactly the issue was since she was extremely happy. Careful not to destruct her, she continued, during my school days, I met a friend by the name Angela. Angela was a wolf in a sheep’s skin” she explained. She was a church goer and was loved by my pastor. She introduced me to her church and we started going for Sunday services together. This was the only free day I had. My auntie’s family never used to go to church, and it is her husband who pleaded on my behalf to be allowed to attend church on Sunday. Other than Angela, I later on met another friend by the name Benson. Benson was working as a mechanic at his father’s garage in our neighborhood. The three of us became best friends, and Benson later on became my boyfriend. He told me he loved me so much and that one day he would marry me. Benson would always give me money to buy whatever I needed, and would share everything I bought with my friend Angela.
Joan, the world is so cruel. This world is so unfair. I wonder why good things happen to bad people, while those who don’t deserve happiness always prosper. Few years later, uncle Steve lost his job and his wife who was working as a civil servant, forced him to return my brothers back to the village. This was the worst moment of our lives. I knew we had hit the dead end. Luckily enough, by the time my siblings were being chased, I had completed my studies. Therefore, I decided to go with my siblings back to the village. I had performed so well and scored a B in the national High School examinations (KCSE), making me the first candidate to score such a grade in my school’s history. Despite the good grades, I didn’t know what life would offer. We went back to the village where we suffered in the hands of our step mother. She was such a stingy woman who only cared for herself and her niece who lived with her. She had no child of her own and her husband had married two other women since she was barren. She never on a single day gave us food. She lived as if we never existed around her. I was forced to venture into all sorts of odd jobs to make ends meet for us, to pay school fees for my siblings and provide a meal on the table. I had to strive and ensure my siblings made it in life.
Such is life Joan, the world is so unfair. If it weren’t for the mercy of this God we serve, I do not know where we would be. Linda continued; one day, my village pastor hosted a team from the US. These people wanted to begin some projects in my village. One of the projects they were interested in was to help the vulnerable children. My pastor had shared with them about me and my siblings. They were touched by our story and two members in the group decided to adopt my siblings. One was hailing from Canada and the other USA. This is how Tom and Jerry relocated abroad.
It was getting darker, and as she was still talking to me, her phone rang, and she told me we needed to go back home.
So what was exciting Linda all along?
Watch out for part 3….
By Dr. Joan Owade Adongo, The author is a Journalism and Mass Communication specialist, Pastor and Director of Quality Assurance at KIU – Tanzania
