OPINION
While the lovers hail Valentine’s Day with romantic gestures celebrating love and affections, for others the day brings frustration, disappointment, feeling of stress and anxiety.
You’re not imagining it! Your valentine’s day treat could be detrimental to your mental well-being.
Save for a few couples who have committed to walking together in a relationship or marriage, February 14, is not just about romance, it is often portrayed as a benchmark for measuring the depth of one’s love, particularly for those pursuing relationships.
From elaborate dates to expensive gifts like gigantic bouquets of roses, surprise dinner dates, valentine’s day can be painful and hurting for those addicted to being in love but are not loved in return. Haven’t you read tragic stories in the media about individuals attempting or committing suicide because their gifts were rejected, their dates declined, or they discovered that the person they loved was dating a secret lover? Your gift isn’t immune to this similar experience.
The societal pressure to create a “perfect” romantic experience on valentine’s day also takes a toll on mental health. Many individuals strive to meet unrealistic standard set by society. Social media floods platforms like X, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok with pictures of affectionate couples, romantic messages and grand gestures. This can exacerbate anxiety and self-doubt, especially for those who are single, battling heartbreaks, grieving the loss of a partner, or recently divorced. It may lead them to question self-worth and believe they are undeserving of love.
Feelings of frustrations, despair, self-isolation and even self-hatred can arise from this loneliness. Negative self-talk such as “I am not enough,” “I don’t deserve love”, “I am not worthy”, and self-criticism based on financial status, education, height or body shape can develop in our minds, deepening emotional distress. Haven’t you heard those confining to others about their relationship struggles saying, “May be it’s because I’m short”, “I don’t have Nyash” etcetera.
Our mental health is a bedrock of our overall well-being, it influences how we think, feel and interact with the world. It also shapes our ability to cope up with stress, depression, anxiety of life. Prioritizing mental health is not just about managing mental illnesses, its about nurturing inner peace and resilience.
If you are using valentine’s day as a measure of your relationship’s depth, “hope for the best but prepare for the worst.” Instead of seeking external validation, focus on self-care and activities that make you feel happy and be mindful of your actions. Remember that true love starts with self-love.
This valentine’s day, the most profound gift you can give yourself is self-care and mental well-being. A fulfilled and happy you will enrich not only your own life but also your relationships.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
By Leonard Kamugisha Akida,
The writer is a Ugandan Journalist, media trainer, founder of Parrots Media, and an advocate for mental health and sexual reproductive health and rights.
