OPINION
I strongly oppose the 40-year sentence given to a maid for torturing a 4-year-old child. While the act was horrendous, we must look deeper into the root causes of such incidents to prevent them from happening in the first place.
In 1987, I was six years old. My father was a manager at the BAT Tobacco Company in Masindi. He often sent money home to support us, and one year, he promised to bring funds for iron sheets to complete the construction of a toilet at home.
When Christmas arrived, my father came home with his black briefcase. Instead of coming straight home, his friends intercepted him, and he went straight to a local bar. Before leaving, he told my mother and me to listen to the radio, promising to send greetings. A few minutes later, his voice came through the radio: “I love my boy Kute and others.” Those words brought joy but also sparked tension at home as my siblings wondered why I was singled out.
Later, pork was delivered to our home from Milton joint, and another gift came from a stranger, saying my father had sent the bag for my mum. Deep down, we knew he was drunk and unlikely to come home soon. By evening, my frustrated mother sent me to search for him. Bar after bar, I eventually found him. He was not pleased but asked me to wait with him. At midnight, we finally made it home.
The next day, my mother discovered that my father had spent most of the money meant for the iron sheets on drinks, leaving only 50,000 shillings. That evening, as my father (sober) sat outside cleaning his nails, my mother sent me to fetch a cup from the house. Excited to see my father, I rushed to bring it. However, I mistakenly brought a red cup instead of the blue one for cutting onions. My mother, already furious, slapped me hard across the face. I bled profusely, and my father said nothing. He packed his bags and left before Christmas.
It wasn’t until years later that I realized my mother’s anger wasn’t entirely about the cup; it was her frustration with my father, redirected at me.
The 2014 Nanny Incident
This brings me to November 24, 2014, when a video emerged of a nanny torturing a toddler. The footage shocked Uganda. The child’s father, suspicious after noticing wounds on the child, had hidden a camera in the house. The nanny, caught on tape brutally beating the child, admitted in court that her actions were revenge after being mistreated by the child’s mother. She was sentenced to four years in prison.
Understanding the Bigger Picture
From my experience as a social worker, I have observed a pattern: many families employ maids without truly considering the dynamics of the relationship. Most maids come from disadvantaged backgrounds, often dropping out of school. It is rare to find a maid who has completed higher education. Yet, families expect them to act and think like highly trained professionals.
Instead of providing guidance, many employers mistreat maids. They bark orders, harass them, and treat them as though they are inferior. How can we expect someone to care for our children with love and patience when they themselves are subjected to hostility and neglect. Some women even see maids as threats, constantly accusing them of inappropriate behavior with their husbands while others fail to pay maids on time, leading to frustration and resentment.
Building a Better Relationship
If you must employ a maid, here are some suggestions
1.Train and Empower Them: Recognize that most maids are uneducated and may lack basic social skills. Teach them how to interact with others and handle responsibilities. For example, a friend of mine takes her maid to her supermarket on weekends, allowing her to learn customer care service.
- Treat Them as Part of the Family: Build trust and inclusion. Recently, I attended a wedding where the matron was a former maid. Such gestures show respect and appreciation.
3.Pay Them on Time: Delaying salaries only breeds frustration and resentment.
4.Control Your Emotions: If you’re angry or stressed, don’t direct it at the maid or the children. Address the root cause of your frustration.
5.Respect Boundaries: Understand that these women are human beings, not machines.
The Real Cause of Child Torture
Child abuse by maids is often a reflection of the toxic environments in which they work. Psychological distress, mistreatment, and lack of support push some maids to vent their frustrations on innocent children.
Parents must take responsibility for the conditions they create in their homes. Before hiring a maid, ensure you are emotionally and financially prepared. Reflect on your behavior and treat your employees with dignity.
A Message for Maids and Parents
To all maids: I am deeply sorry for the mistreatment many of you endure. Please find ways to manage your anger and seek help if you are overwhelmed.
To parents: Your behavior sets the tone for your household. If you want your children to grow up in a safe and loving environment, start by treating those who care for them with respect.
Conclusion
The torture of children by maids is a tragic symptom of deeper societal issues. Until we address the mistreatment and neglect faced by maids, these incidents will continue. Let us all commit to creating healthier, more respectful homes for the sake of our children and our communities.
The writer is Omupakasi Kutegyeka Ivan Bajeh
Social Worker and CEO Baje Walking Africa
