By Our Authors
Today, we’re going to tackle how to get a man to want a commitment with you in the age of the Hookup Culture.
Right now in the West, there’s a new culture that’s developed around getting drunk and humping as many people as we can like rabbits…
The mainstream media is shoving sex down our throats like a mom giving a child some fowl tasting cough medicine…
And porn is pretty much everywhere at this point.
The Hookup Culture in America has spread faster than juicy gossip around an old lady’s knitting circle.
The harsh truth is that men don’t need to get into a relationship anymore to have sex.
If they want it, they can get it pretty easily.
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| A man can even fall into a bottle! |
So what can you do to get into a healthy, committed relationship with a man in an age when the Hookup Culture is spreading so quickly?
Simple… Be Different.
Here’s the deal…
For most men, it’s a lot easier to go from a committed relationship to a casual one than it is to even want a committed relationship when they’re already getting everything without the commitment.
In fact, studies have shown that going from a casual relationship to a committed one happens less than 1 out of 9 times.
That means if you get into a casual relationship, the odds are stacked against you from the start.
Is there something you can do to make it more likely that you get the commitment if you’re already in a “friend with benefits” type situation?
Yeah, and we’ll talk about that in a bit.
First, let me give you some rules to follow if you want to get into a committed relationship with a man in the age of the Hookup Culture.
Here they are…
1. Know How Things Work For You
Most women I talk to who get into something casual because it seemed fun at the time…
Then they “catch feelings” as I like to call it.
When they have sex with a man, over time, they start feeling closer and more in love with him.
This is NOT how men work. Using sex to get a man doesn’t work. Don’t do it.
If you’re serious about getting into a great relationship with a good man, don’t get into situations that won’t work for you in the long-run…
Even if it feels good in the moment.
2. Have Some Standards
“Friends With Benefits” is NOT a stage from meeting a man to marriage.
If you want something serious and exclusive, don’t waste your time getting into a situation that has very little chance of getting you what you want.
Instead, figure out what you want and need from a relationship. And make sure that you’re getting your needs met before you jump in.
Make sure he’s not involved with or emotionally connected to another woman.
Make sure he’s ready to get into something serious.
Make sure that the two of you can support each other in what you value and want in life.
Make sure that you’re not getting yourself into a casual situation that’s going nowhere.
Have REAL conversations about these things instead of trying to guess and figure out what’s going on with a man like he’s a jigsaw puzzle you’re putting together without looking at the finished picture.
Men aren’t going to make you have these conversations with them. And if they’re looking for something casual, they’ll avoid them.
And if he’s looking for something real, he’ll be honest with you about it.
3. Set and Maintain Boundaries
Women who end up in great relationships with men are women who quickly move on from situations they don’t want until they find what they do want (you might want to write that one down).
They don’t accept men into their lives who aren’t mature enough and ready to create the relationship that they want to have.
They don’t have sex with these men.
They don’t try to trick these men into wanting something more with them.
And they don’t get into a situation that doesn’t serve them and then hope and pray it leads to something more.
Believe it or not, when you hold this standard for men… and you stick to it… a man is much more likely to step up to the plate and give you a real relationship.
If you don’t, he’ll assume that you’re willing to let him walk all over you, treat you like a sex object, and never require anything more from him.
And here’s the worst part…
If you do allow him to do this to you, even if he may have been open to something more before, you’ll flip a switch in his mind that makes him think you’re not valuable enough to him to be in a committed relationship.
I know that sounds bad. But if you want to attract and keep a guy in a committed, lasting relationship, here’s what you need to do:
4. Discover What Works in Getting the Relationship You Want
Here’s what does NOT work when attracting and connecting with men…
- Convincing a man that you’re perfect for each other.
- Using sex to make him feel something for you.
- Buying a man gifts or do favors and errands for him.
- Playing games or using manipulation tactics.
- Seeking his approval.
- Call or texting him all the time.
- Shaming or bullying him into being the man you’re looking for.
- Listing your impressive resume, talking about “guy things” or becoming the social planner of his life.
These are all things that will immediately or eventually make a man lose total interest in you, pull away and disappear.
A man decides that he wants to be with a man because he “feels it” for her. He feels like she’s “the one,” the woman he’s been looking for… or at least that she might be.
He wants to feel understood, accepted, and like he can be the man for you in your relationship.
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He wants to feel like the two of you are naturally compatible.
Notice that I said, “he feels” and not “he thinks.” This isn’t a logical thing for a man.
He either feels like you’re the right one for him or he doesn’t.
A man won’t chase you…
He won’t pursue you…
And he won’t commit to you…
Unless he feels like you have one very specific thing that makes him feel welcomed into your life…
If this doesn’t exist, he might want something sexual with you but he’ll never feel like you’re “the one” for him.
I created a video presentation to explain exactly what this one thing is and the 3 steps to making him feel this way…
I hope you go through it and learn what really works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting a man.
