MACHAKOS
In a move that has left the nation both baffled and entertained, Pope Paul VI Junior Seminary in Machakos has taken an unconventional approach to discipline, one avocado at a time.
Ignatius Baraka, a student at the seminary, has been suspended not for failing exams or flouting dress codes, but for what might be Kenya’s most agriculturally inspired crime of the year: helping a fellow student sneak out of the seminary to commit high-fruit larceny. The loot? Avocados.
In a stern but strangely produce-centric letter dated May 19, 2025, the school outlined Ignatius’s crimes: aiding an escape and hoarding seminary avocados in defiance of “clean rules.” The punishment? A dramatic return on June 4 with his parent or guardian—and a very specific grocery list.
Among the items demanded; two rolls of 8-foot chain-link fencing (to presumably prevent future great avocado escapes), and a sack of avocados (to replace the “blood fruit” lost in the heist).
The letter, signed by the ever-watchful Rev. Fr. Paul Munguti, signals a new era in school discipline where suspensions now come with agricultural penalties.
Observers are now wondering whether future offences, perhaps involving stolen mangoes or rogue bananas will lead to demands for entire orchards or irrigation systems.
Sources close to the seminary report that avocado trees are under 24-hour surveillance and that any student found loitering with guacamole may face immediate expulsion.
Insiders say the next Board of Discipline meeting will be held under the theme: Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Seminary’s Fruits.
